Posts Tagged ‘insanity

21
Apr
08

fat women and stretch pants

do you ever wonder how some things get started?  who was the pioneer that ventured out, risking all, and took that first momentous step for the rest of us?

I will ashamedly admit, that on the weekends, I have been known to pull on synthetic black tights, and a huge sweater, and go around my house in my socks.  Actually, I find it very liberating, especially when it is cold outside, and I know that I don’t have to go anywhere (okay, okay, I have also snuck down to the grocery in this outfit on occasion, but I avoid anyone I know).  But who do I have to thank for this privilege?

what about bald men and ponytails?  who was the pioneer for this one? what twist of fate brought those two conditions together?  okay, I know you have all seen it, and probably have been too polite to say anything, but who was the first fat guy to adorn the pool in a speedo? I have to admit, that’s one combination that I am not sure I can totally wrap my brain around.  I might even go so far as to forgo my tights forever, if all fat men everywhere were to burn their speedos!!

what about body piercing and tattooing?  do not get me wrong, I have nothing against it, I just wonder who the first person was to pierce their nose, the bottom lip, the nipple (I am sorry, but ouch!) or make a bold statement by tattooing places that even their own mother doesn’t see anymore?  I know a lot of it gets its origins from ancient tribes, I am just curious about the practises of the current generation.  they are sacrificing some very delicate areas as slaves to some order of fashion, and some of these sensitive spots, will not age gracefully, whether tattooed or pierced.  haven’t you ever seen the old ladies with their ear lobes resting on their shoulders??  how many butterflies will turn into pterodactyl looking creatures?  how many tribal tattoos will start to look like kindergarten drawings when the bicep doesn’t stay where it is supposed to anymore?  and the perky pierced nipple and/or belly button? one pregnancy will take care of both of those. 

does it ever make you wonder, in that area of the brain that is supposed to harbor our creativity, do we experience delicate short-circuits?? minor tremors that shove good taste and common sense straight to the basement of our subconscious, and we create these combinations that if we were in our right minds, we never, ever would have conceived?  so do we just chalk it all up to temporary insanity??  I vote yes. (and if I see you coming at the Kroger in your tights, we both pretend we didn’t see each other, deal?)

 

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Jake and Jackson

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live in Dayton, Ohio, in an historic neighborhood called South Park. have some of the wackiest friends and neighbors that I wouldn't change for the world

old rants/opinions/pontifications